you guys were way drunker than both of me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
