i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
