I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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