she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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