Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
