i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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