Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
