he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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