You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
