No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize