It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
