i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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