Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
