Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
