wanna go halves on a baby?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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