Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize