Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
