garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
