i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
should my penis look like a turkey
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
