Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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