Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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