I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
