He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize