but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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