Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
