you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize