He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
