handjob tips. give me some.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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