she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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