y did u give ur computer a hand job?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
