At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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