What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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