hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have fence marks all over my body
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
