just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
