my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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