If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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