I must be too annoying 4 u.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
