Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My cat gives me a boner
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
