I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
