dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
