How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize