Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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