As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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