somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
