im drinking this country out of the recession.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
