if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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