I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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