What did we do last night that was yellow?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
