I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
