After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
