doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
grandma shit on top of the toilet
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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