Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
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