that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize