hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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