So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
