Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
