Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
