If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
