the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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