Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
