Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
